I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
