would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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