Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
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