This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
