YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
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I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
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It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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