Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
