True but thats because hes a fetus.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
