what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Acid is not a monday night drug
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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