The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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