Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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