just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
