So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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