i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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