We tried having a conversation with our noses.
two words...techno handjob
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
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