on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Randomize
