He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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