Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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