How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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