I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
We are two peas in an std pod
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
