YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
i out mim tonsoeep
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
