Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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