ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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