Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Its about making memories worth repressing
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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