So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Randomize
