Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
