Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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