the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize
