The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I love having hate sex.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
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