In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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