her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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