dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
