so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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