just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
...so i touched it.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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