Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
