Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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