But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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