I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
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I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
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Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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