Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize