You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.