you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
29 People Who Do Dirty Things Just To Get Their Way
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!