I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
This is my gift to your gina
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?