Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back