hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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