he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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