wake up i wanna do it froggy style
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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