smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
You work out of a Hotel?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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