peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
