She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
