just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
