This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
