hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Don't tell me you're on acid again
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
