So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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