I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
