In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
