Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
