Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
