I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
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