I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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