I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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