I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Houston, we have a squirter
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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