I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
