So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
