I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
home. puking in laundry basket.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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