Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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