D3 body, D1 cock
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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